Countdown to the Book Launch - on writing
Hello Fans, all two of you, thank you Blog Reader Stats for keeping me grounded, won't let fame and success go to my head now that I have a blog with actual followers, as all successful writers do.
Well I'm 5 days away from the big book launch. Over this weekend I remembered that I still had to design and order a Banner for the backdrop to the table where I shall sign my autograph and sell books. Check. Might not make it in time. Check. Nothing I can do about it now. I did have it up on my laptop as a tab to work on. And still forgot about it due to working on a children's story poem which is pretty awesome.
I spent about an hour designing fantastic cotton tote bags with the book and wonderful wording "I love this book" in fabulous font on the front. Lured in by the promise that they would be 80p per bag. Only to reach the final stages, in love with the purple bags, to find they surpassed £2.00 a bag and I would have to order over 1000 to get them for 80p. Dammit I fell in love with those bags though! Life is full of surprising disappointments. Built up only to be shot down again.
Still, I'm looking forward to it. With or without the banner it will be fun. Because some of my greatest friends are going to be there with me. Thanks guys. Because I'm celebrating a monumentous achievement in my life. Because if you don't do these things, no one else will, so do them. Celebrate. Because I just made a new word up in this world apparently monumentous is not a word, and they suggest I use momentous instead. No sir spellcheck, I mean a moment I am creating a monument for, a massive thing in my life that means something to me. Stick that definition in the dictionary.
Perhaps I shall change the world by creating a new word for us all, "Monumentous" .....no. No. No I shall not be remembered for that, because, you see,"Monumentis" is a word. I just spelled it so wrong even Google struggled to figure out what the heck I was on about. Dammit. Google just sitting there all, "I have had a look through every dictionary in the world and you're still wrong stupid girl from no where in the hills who are you anyway I can't find you on any map. Look here is the world, the entire world and you're not on it. You're so wrong you're off the planet. And don't get me started on Space as I have that covered too Gemma Lubbock. I'll send a bunch of Pokemon Go Players to your house, they still won't find your word, you're that vague. So, Gemma Lubbock are you still trying to tell me Monumentous is an actual word? Have you tried Monumentis? Could we have saved all that by spelling it correctly in the first place? God I need a Pay Rise they don't pay me enough for this level of awful Googleyness."
Don't argue with Google.
There really is nothing original to say anymore is there really. But I knew it was a real word thats why I used it! In correct context too. Argh.
Here is a happy smiley picture of me next to a pirate ship to compensate for my Two-Degrees level of word-idiocy. Wordiocy. Wordocy. Giving up now.
Well I'm 5 days away from the big book launch. Over this weekend I remembered that I still had to design and order a Banner for the backdrop to the table where I shall sign my autograph and sell books. Check. Might not make it in time. Check. Nothing I can do about it now. I did have it up on my laptop as a tab to work on. And still forgot about it due to working on a children's story poem which is pretty awesome.
I spent about an hour designing fantastic cotton tote bags with the book and wonderful wording "I love this book" in fabulous font on the front. Lured in by the promise that they would be 80p per bag. Only to reach the final stages, in love with the purple bags, to find they surpassed £2.00 a bag and I would have to order over 1000 to get them for 80p. Dammit I fell in love with those bags though! Life is full of surprising disappointments. Built up only to be shot down again.
Still, I'm looking forward to it. With or without the banner it will be fun. Because some of my greatest friends are going to be there with me. Thanks guys. Because I'm celebrating a monumentous achievement in my life. Because if you don't do these things, no one else will, so do them. Celebrate. Because I just made a new word up in this world apparently monumentous is not a word, and they suggest I use momentous instead. No sir spellcheck, I mean a moment I am creating a monument for, a massive thing in my life that means something to me. Stick that definition in the dictionary.
Perhaps I shall change the world by creating a new word for us all, "Monumentous" .....no. No. No I shall not be remembered for that, because, you see,"Monumentis" is a word. I just spelled it so wrong even Google struggled to figure out what the heck I was on about. Dammit. Google just sitting there all, "I have had a look through every dictionary in the world and you're still wrong stupid girl from no where in the hills who are you anyway I can't find you on any map. Look here is the world, the entire world and you're not on it. You're so wrong you're off the planet. And don't get me started on Space as I have that covered too Gemma Lubbock. I'll send a bunch of Pokemon Go Players to your house, they still won't find your word, you're that vague. So, Gemma Lubbock are you still trying to tell me Monumentous is an actual word? Have you tried Monumentis? Could we have saved all that by spelling it correctly in the first place? God I need a Pay Rise they don't pay me enough for this level of awful Googleyness."
Don't argue with Google.
There really is nothing original to say anymore is there really. But I knew it was a real word thats why I used it! In correct context too. Argh.
Here is a happy smiley picture of me next to a pirate ship to compensate for my Two-Degrees level of word-idiocy. Wordiocy. Wordocy. Giving up now.
Anyhoo, Drum Roll Please, Avast Ye Pirates of the Mist! Come join us on Saturday, embark upon the Time Travelling Sea Rose, join Alice on her Adventures with the Worst Pirates in the World.
Dare you dance in the mist to the old pirate jig?
P.S. dearest two-blog-readers-who-may-just-be-spam-bots,
My book is not to be mistaken for the (whispers) 'somewhat sexual' fan-fiction book "Shadow Dancing in the Mists of Time". Just saying, I agonised over my title and googled it to make sure it was not close to anyone else's, and then more books crop up with similar titles, as that's the way our world's collide. Such is life, originality went out in the 30's. The 1830's, with the golden age of piracy. Onwards!
Goodnight, Sleep Tight, dont let the bed bugs bite
Never Smile at a Crocodile
God Bless
I don't remember the rest
I love my labrador.
xx
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